Is this what no sleep feels like?

I am a sleeper.  I can fall asleep no problem and up until lately I would sleep through the night.  I could sleep.  Now, not so much.  I wouldn't classify it as insomnia, but it sure is annoying.  I still fall asleep with little problems, but now I am waking up every hour or two to turn over.  And it hurts!  Really! It does.  My back has been killing me at night.  We did all the usual stuff like flipping the mattress and putting a mattress pad on it,  Nothing.  I still toss and turn in pain and wake up hurting.  Ugh...it's wearing on me.

And now, here I am at 4am, blogging.  Why?  Because I slept from 11:30 to 12:30 and woke up.  Then I dozed until 1:30 when my body proceeded to tell me...Nope.  Enough sleeping for you.  Sigh....

And part of my not sleeping tonight is a full head.  And an uninvited guest.  I wrote a little story about him a while back. 

It's been a long time since he has wrapped his uninvited arms around me and held on.  I do believe this time he has started to invade my brain because I can't get him to shut up.  And all my "skills" that I have learned from multiple therapists and psychiatrists and groups are not working.  I have tried to communicate, but he must have his hand over my mouth because nothing is happening.  There is a part of my head right now that says "This too shall pass" but then he says "Whatever.  You know I will always be here, playing on your insecurities. Laughing amongst your pain. Dwell in it with me.  It is so much easier than to fight." 

And at 4 am....he's right.  Round 1 goes to Depression....