You

I envy that little boy who was your first friend.  Oh the laughs and the secrets and the tumbles he must have shared with you.

I envy that pig tailed girl who was your first crush. You must have had no idea why you wanted to hold her hand instead of pushing her down.

I envy those adolescent boys whom you buddied around with doing only God knows what only God knows where.  Although they probably have whithered those friendships helped to build your character.

I'm so envious of the first girl who stole your heart. That beauty who not only held your heart, but who also broke it into a million pieces.

Most of all I'm envious of you because you get to spend all your time with one of my most favorite people in the world.

You.

Jason Derulo made me a feminist

I have never really had any feelings good or bad toward feminists or the feminist movement or the word feminist. It was not something I aligned myself with, but I wasn't ever against it either.  

Maybe because I have 2 daughters on the cusp of puberty or because I am a recently single working woman, but lately I have been embracing feminism and all that goes along with it more and more. And the thing that really has kicked me over the edge is.....

 Jason Derulo.

Let me give a little bit of background....

I love music.

Like LOOOOOVVVEEEE it.  

It is my favorite form of art. I listen to all kinds. All things rock; classic, alternative, grunge, heavy metal, 80's big hair bands. Country; Blue grass and bro country and the powerhouse women of the 80s and 90s and pop country and Johnny Cash. I even like mainstream pop, hip hop and some rap.  If the beat and music are good, I typically like it. What will turn me off to a song  in a heartbeat are the lyrics. For example I love the music to Sugarland's "Stay" but I can't listen to the song. Same goes for Hinder's "Lips of an Angel." I can not listen to or embrace songs that justify or glorify cheating. 

 I just can't do it.

So the first time I ever heard Jason Derulo's "Trumpets" I liked it. I liked the music and the beat and the "Trumpets they go do do do do do do do" part was catchy. I danced along to it and enjoyed it. Until the next time it came across my radio waves and I turned it up and started listening to it. Really? I have to admit, that I actually listened to it a handful of times before I was completely turned off to it. Here are just a sampling of the lyrics...

"Every time that you get undressed

I hear symphonies in my head

I wrote this song just looking at you oh, oh"

A woman's naked body inspired him to write a song....Ok...sure...I'm not certain if I am offended at this or not. Maybe he's just appreciating the beauty of his lady. I mean, she must be gorgeous to inspire symphonies in his head. Moving on....

"Is it weird that I hear

Angels every time that you moan?"

Um....yeah...I think that's weird. But I guess maybe, if you stretch a little, this could come off as sweet? I have to assume because the woman is already naked, that her moaning is coming from...well...you know... PLEASURE. And good for him for making certain that his girl is satisfied enough to moan....just think the angel sounds make it.....weird.


But here is the best....I mean absolute BEST part.....

"Is it weird that your ass

Remind me of a Kanye West song?" 

OH and don't forget

"Is it weird that your bra

Remind me of a Katy Perry song?"

Weird?! How about we mix it up with a different adjective. It's insane. It's not only fucking insane it's offensive!! Kanye West?! Who, in my opinion, happens to be a rude, cocky son of a bitch? And why in the hell would a bra remind you of a Katy Perry song? Are you trying to compliment my underwear? For what purpose? 

Really?!!

It's just that it's hard in our society to get girls to love themselves for themselves and to see that their worth is based upon more than just their looks. It is an uphill climb to make certain our daughters, nieces, and sisters know that it is it ok to be an engineer or a construction worker or a senator or a fireman. That they can have these careers and also choose to be a mom and wife. Or that they can choose to be a nurse or a teacher and also choose to be a mom and NOT a wife. Or be a coal miner or inventor or graphic designer and choose to NOT be a mom OR a wife.  

I just think that using a good beat and a catchy hook with lyrics as deep as these are poison to not only our daughters, but to our sons. Our sons who listen to this and are ingrained with the thought that women are nothing more than a pretty thing to look at and be pleasured by.....which, by the way feeds and exacerbates, rape culture which is an entirely DIFFERENT subject that I will save for another soapbox on another day.

So thank you Jason Derulo for making me a feminist.  But honestly, can I really expect much more out of a guy who also sings "You know what to do with that big fat butt?"

Sigh.....

Hearts are made for breaking

I think our hearts are always broken, even if just a little.

Even in the midst of an epic love, there are wounds....holes....cracks.

I don't think we are ever fully whole.  I don't think we can be. Our circumstances are constantly changing  Our lives continuously morphing into the next day's person.

I just hope that the experiences we keep experiencing, the breaths we keep breathing, fill the old cracks, holes, wounds, as we get new ones.

Our hearts are always broken, but I pray it's just broken a little.