Big Day....UPDATE

So today is a big day.  Finally.  Scott, Zaia and I get to meet with her surgeon.  Since April, we have been anxious to have this appointment.  Well, I have been anxious.  Scott is laid back and confident in most everything that goes on, and Zaia doesn't really understand this appointment, so yes, it is I who is anxious.

I am anxious to have a date for surgery.  I am anxious about what all surgery entails.  I am anxious about how Zaia is going to do.  I am anxious for Joel who is a worry wort and how he will deal and feel with it.  I am anxious for Rhianna who I had no idea was worried about it until a few weeks ago.  She commented to someone that she shares a room with Zaia and if the "Doctor can't fix her, then she might die and I will sleep alone."  

Um...how do you tell a 7 year old that her little sister, whom she doesn't remember life without, is NOT going to die.  And how do you say that with 100% confidence, when that is the one thought you FORCE yourself to push to the bottom of the emotion barrel because it is too hard to even try to think about?  And how do you prepare yourself for your child's open heart surgery and her as well when we both were in tears over stinking SHOTS?

I know the answer.  Lean on Him.  Lean on Him and give it to Him.  But I have to say it is HARD for me to do.  At least all the way...You know I got that 'lean in but still be on my feet' thing down, but for this I do believe it will take a more 'You carry me and I will just lie there in Your arms' approach.  I am not so good with that. 

While I don't believe I am a control freak, I do have controlling tendencies.  And that 'give it ALL to God' thing trips me up. 

So all of this to say....Pray for me.  Pray for Zaia.  Pray for Joel.  Pray for Rhianna.  Pray for Scott.  Pray for Dr. Fortuna (her surgeon).  Pray.   Pray that I may willingly and easily give all of this to God.  Pray that this will be as "fun" and easy as it could be for Zaia.  Pray that Joel will also give his worries to God and have peace that his sister will be fine.  Pray that Rhianna's big adult fears will be taken from her and she can just be 7.  Pray for Scott as he is such a rock and will need so much strength to hold us together.  Pray for Dr. Fortuna that his decisions are God's decisions and we are all on the same page.
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UPDATE

After our appointment, I feel less anxious!  Dr. Fortuna was very nice and informative.  He made sure that Scott and I understood just exactly what was going to happen and that we understood it all.  He was glad to hear that we have researched it and had some knowledge so we could understand and be "ok" with everything.

So the big day is scheduled for July 5.  Yup, July 5.  We will do family fun fireworks on the fourth (say that 3 times fast) and heart surgery on the 5.  I told Scott that is perfect timing.  Not too soon, but not too far away either.  Zaia will have pre-op testing on June 30 and that same day we will tour the hospital and talk with the child life specialist.  Joel and Rhianna will go with us that day.  They are excited because I told them they could ask as many questions as they need to.