Little Ones

I took my almost 13 year old to the zoo the other day. We had a great time walking around looking at the animals (I really big heart the giraffes😍), taking selfies and just hanging out. As it turns out, we weren't the only people to decide to spend our sunny Saturday there. We walked by numerous families of all shapes and sizes, but one family made my heart say "Aww..."

There was a frazzled 20 something looking mom pushing a stroller with a toddler holding her hand and two preschool aged boys running ahead. She was scolding (yelling) at one of the boys for touching an automatic door opener that she had told him not to touch. Dad was there but he was not paying any attention to any of the kids or mom. She sounded so angry over this 4 year old opening the door and my heart broke. Not for the boy, but for the mom.

I WAS that mom. I spent my early and mid twenties with a preschooler and a double stroller full of girls. I was always frazzled and usually was in the need of a shower and a haircut. I was BARELY holding together my young family and with a husband who travelled 70% of the time for work, I feel like I failed miserably.

I often wonder if my kids have any memories of them as young children where I am NOT yelling at them. I yelled at home (My middle daughter HONESTLY thought her full name was RHIANNA JAYDE COMEHERE as a preschooler). I yelled at church (through clinched "Christlike" teeth). I even yelled at Disney World (I earned the nickname "Fun Sucker" on that trip...thank my ex husband for that encouragement). I couldn't let fun organically happen because I was too busy controlling and yelling about EVERYTHING.

My kids were 6, 7 and 10 when I became a single mom and got the wake up call I needed. I now had to share them. I went from my children being around me ALL THE TIME to not very much at all. There were nights when I sat in my very empty and very quiet house and just longed for some of the things that just months prior I had been yelling about.

My kids are pre-teen and teenagers now. I no longer yell...as often. I'm not going to lie and say I quit altogether but there is FAR more laughter and silliness and conversation and love in my home now. I don't care about the water bottle being left on the table. I'm just grateful for the child that left it there (but seriously...guys...clean up after yourselves!).

So as we walked past this yelling woman, I felt sorry that she is so obviously worn out and overextended that all she has left is yelling.  My prayer for her and all the other young and not so young, working outside the home and stay at home, married or single moms out there is this: I pray you are given sight to see that these days pass way too quickly and the things you are yelling at very, very soon will not matter at all.