I'm back!

I kind of feel like I owe a "catch up."  I have been MIA for far too long and some really great things have been happening.    First up--physical things:  I have a fantastic job.  Really, I mean it!  I have been the front desk receptionist for a local company that is growing and doing well.  So well, that an additional plant was opened which has created a lot more work for the "office gals."  Because of this, I am being hired on "full time" (as in not through the temp agency, as in benefits, as in paid holidays, as in vacation!) AND I got a promotion!  Yes, a promotion!  I will be moving away from the phones and into the "office."  I will be keeping some of the work I currently do, but will taking work from all 3 of the office gals to help them out and get things running more smoothly.  I am really excited about this opportunity.  The thing is....I NEVER looked at any job I had as something more than a paycheck and temporary.  I was a mom and a wife and a job was not a priority for me.  I don't feel like that about this.  I feel like this could turn into a career.  I can see places inside this company that I would like to be and go.  It is exciting and new.  And I like it!    I also have a house that I am renting.  I am living on my own, and by myself for the first time EVER.  Sometimes I get bored out of my mind (I don't have tv channels! I have a tv, but can't get any channels and I don't always want to watch a DVD.), but I am glad to have my own space again.  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and am SO grateful for her help and support over the past few months, but it is nice to feel like an adult again.   So on to emotional things....I am doing well.  Really, I am.  There have been months between "break downs."  I even attended Rhianna's birthday party (with emotional support from a friend) when I knew she would be there.  Her daughter even came over to me and was talking to me.  I hope it made her skin boil.  I know, I know....I need to work on that, but whatever.  I have made new friends and have connected better with an old acquaintance and really feel comfortable in my skin.  I take care of myself (although I NEED to get my hair done, it's just not in my budget!) and have found out that I am pretty cool.  I really never have had BAD self esteem, but I do think that I tied my self worth to a man.  (UGH!) What I did, what I thought, what I liked, who my friends were all influenced by what he thought.  And while I find it difficult to admit this because it makes him sound like a controlling monster, it is true.  He wasn't a controlling monster, however, I allowed him to influence me way more than anyone should let another person do.  For instance, we didn't watch baseball.  We didn't like baseball, so we didn't watch it.  Guess what?  I don't mind baseball.  Actually I kinda like watching it.  I would love to go down to St. Louis to a Cards game.  It reminds me of my dad and makes me feel closer to him. And I didn't express that because of someone else's opinion.  Sad, really.   But so all in all things are good and getting better.  And that last "real" post is still very much relevant.  And still very much stagnant.  All in good time though....patience....something I SUCK at.