The day of my birth....

For some reason I am that girl who has a hard time with numbers.  Not math, although it kicks my butt too, but birthday numbers.  You know "Oh my gosh I can't believe I am turning XYZ!"  Yup...that is me.  And how annoying.  I just want to be all cool about it and let it roll off my back, but I just can't.  I fret and deny and want to avoid the number.  Be aware, that I don't want to let the actual BIRTHDAY go to waste.  I am too much of a princess to not embrace a day that is ALL mine.  A day that I get to say "Hey!  You do what I want because it's MY day."  A day when I can get a Dairy Queen ice cream cake even though I know my children won't eat it (what?!) and not feel guilty because it's MY DAY!!  A day when I get presents and people plaster awesome messages all over my Facebook wall.  No...I will not give that up.  However, I just don't want the number.

And why not?  It's just a number.  My great grandma used to say "It isn't how old you are, it's how old you feel."  Sure that is a good thing to live by.  Except for those days when this 30 year old girl feels 50.  But it has always been a thing for me.  When I was younger I was excited about birthday numbers.  "Oh yea!  I am two hold hands!!"  Or "13! I am finally a teenager!"  Or "I get to drive!! Hooray for 16!"  And so on...until 25.  I had a hard time with 25.  Maybe because most of my friends were just starting careers and families.  Or maybe not starting families.  And here I was married for 7 years with 3 kids.  I don't want you to think I am complaining.  I am BLESSED to have that husband and 3 kids.  They are all amazing and make life worth living.  However....25 with all that seemed...well it seemed like I was OLD.  

Now, here I am 5 years later at 30 and I have been married almost 12 years with an 11.5 year old, a 7 year old and a 5 year old.  It just makes a girl feel....OLD.  Ugh.....

So for the next month or so, I will still say I am 29ish, or 29 with a year of experience or some other cute moniker.  Then I will just break down and admit to my glorious age of 30.